Some Ninjas and Stuff
by dirty-mofo
Summary: Kakashi contemplates the definition of ham.
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there were two ninja who hated each other above all else. Their names were Itachi and Kakashi. They were both shinobi who were on the team and had the same sensei, but one day, their sensei made them both go the same mission together to settle their differences. Of course it was an a-ranked mission, so both Itachi and Kakashi would have to work really hard to keep each other alive. Of course they didn't want to, but their sensei told both of them that if either of them were to die, he would personally give the living person what they got coming to them. _That_ made them both listen.

While they were on their mission, they ran into a jounin named Zabuza. Both Itachi and Kakashi knew that they were not strong enough to face him, so they turned around and fled... until Kakashi tripped on a stick and landed on top of Itachi, that is.

Itachi turned his body around to see the panting and sweating Kakashi. Then he did something unexpected. He embraced Kakashi in a kiss. Kakashi's eyes widened but then they closed in satisfaction. Zabuza just stood there. Itachi broke the kiss.

"I hate you, Kakashi." Itachi said but then kissed Kakashi again.

Hot and ready, Kakashi undid his pants and then pulled them off.

"K-Kakashi, no..." Itachi panted, but Kakashi was paying no attention to what he was saying, he was paying attention to what was in his pants.

Zabuza was getting really into it, because he couldn't keep his eyes off them, but still kakashi was paying no attention.

"Kakashi, I want you inside me. Take all of me." He carefully undid his pants and turned over so that he was facing the ground.

"Itachi, I hope you enjoy this."

Then in one motion he entered him. Itachi dug his nails into the dirt as Kakashi pumped faster and faster. Zabuza was now right beside them watching them. _What the hell are they doing?_ Zabuza thought to himself. _Whatever it is they're doing, it looks like fun._

"I-Itachi..." Kakashi had climaxed into itachi.

Itachi had still not yet climaxed, so Kakashi turned him over and took his member into his mouth. with dirt under his fingernails, Itachi took Kakashi's member into his hand and massaged it with his nails.

"K-K-Kakashi..." but he was too late.

Itachi had climaxed into Kakashi's mouth. Kakashi spit out Itachi's seed because he didn't like the way it tasted. Then Kakashi climaxed again, except this time it was all over Itachi's chest and stomach.

"S-sorry." Kakashi said.

"That's okay. I would' ve done the same thing."

Then out from behind a tree their sensei came out from the shadows.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Orochimaru-sensei!" Kakashi and Itachi screamed out loud together.

Then Orochimaru looked suspiciously at them.

"Are you boys ready for round two?"

Kakashi and Itachi stared blankly at each other. Then Kakashi looked up at his sensei.

"Sure, but this time I get to be on bottom."

Itachi looked up at him.

"Fine, I don't like being the uke anyway."

"All right boys," Orochimaru said, "Let's get down to business."

Zabuza was still standing right beside them as they started round two.


	2. Chapter 2

Orochimaru grabbed Kakashi and kissed him harshly. Kakashi was surprised at first but soon started to respond eagerly with his tongue.

While Orochimaru and Kakashi were having Tongue Wars Itachi grabbed Zabuza.

"I wouldn't leave you out of the fun now would I?"

Itachi started to nibble on Zabuza's ear while rubbing on his crotch.

"Nnng, Oh..." said Zabuza as he was getting hard.

"I wanna be on top this time, my ass still hurts from having no lube." Itachi whispered.

Itachi laid Zabuza down on the grass and took off his pants. The Uchiha began to suck off the older boy.

"Not a bad size," Itachi commented.

The ninja from the Land of the Mist cummed into Itachi's mouth.

"I don't know why Kakashi spit it out, it's kinda bitter but still pretty tasty." Itachi swallowed it all and even licked his lips.

"It's my turn now!" Itachi said as he pointed at his erection.

He spit in his hands and rubbed it all over his dick. As he entered Zabuza, he saw that the swordsman was sweating from the pain.

"It'll start to feel good, I promise."

He pumped faster and harder and saw that Zabuza was getting hard again. He smiled and pumped as fast and hard as he could. They both cummed together in a stream of white. Itachi collapsed and landed next to Zabuza. They fell asleep with Itachi still in Zabuza.

Orochimaru was getting fingered by Kakashi when they noticed Itachi and Zabuza were done.

"What lightweights," Orochimaru scoffed. "We'll last longer than that won't we?"

"Hell yeah!" Kakashi yelled.

Orochimaru kissed Kakashi while still enjoying the experience of Kakashi's finger in his hole.

"You're going to like this." Kakashi said breaking the kiss.

"W-What are you talking abou-ooh... " He already knew.

Kakashi had rubbed some of the wet dirt onto his hand and started to rub the shaft of Orochimaru's penis (yes, Orochimaru has a penis). Of course, he was enjoying the experience due to sleepless nights of having to masturbate to seeing Sasuke's smiling face.

"You like this, don't you?" Kakashi asked as he noticed pre-come fall onto his fingers.

"Y-Yes, very much...Oh no, I'm about to... " But his voice came too late. He had already squirted his seeds all over Kakashi's hand.

"You know, if I liked the taste of semen I would lick up all this on my hand just for you." he took his finger out of Orochimaru's hole.

"You talk too much." Orochimaru said as he shoved Kakashi on the ground and put his face up to the base of his crotch.

"You rubbed me and now I'm gonna suck you."Orochimaru said as licked Kakashi's shaft. He noticed as it extended up in the air.

"Fair enough." said Kakashi still on the ground. Kakashi noticed the sound of a nearby lake.

"Hey, sensei." Kakashi said standing up.

"Hm? Hey, why are you standing? I thought we were gonna do this thing!" Orochimaru was starting to get overheated.

"Don't worry, we are." Kakashi was trying to sense the direction of the lake with his penis.

"I was just wondering what it would be like to get sucked in a lake." his penis started to grow limp but then erected again as he turned around in a different direction. He pointed, "That way!" He grabbed Orochimaru's hand and ran towards the lake. They made it there in a matter of seconds.

"I guess it was closer than I thought." Kakashi joked.

"Please don't make any jokes." He grabbed Kakashi's hand and threw him into the cold lake. Orochimaru then jumped in himself. Kakashi swam up to the other end of the lake and then turned around. _Hm, where is he_? Kakashi looked around then tensed up as he felt a warm sensation creep up on his member. _Sneaky bastard_. Kakashi thought as he threw his head back and enjoyed the warm and cold sensations.

"Nnngh..." Kakashi was starting to go crazy as his build up grew more and more.

"O-Orochi-chimaru sensei... " His seeds were secreted into the water and his sensei's mouth.

"Oh God, that was just wonderful… " Kakashi panted. Orochimaru came up out of the water.

"What was wonderful?" He was confused.

"W-What you just d-did to me..." Kakashi was still out of breath. Orochimaru still looked confused.

"What are you talking about?" Now Kakashi was looking confused.

"What are YOU talking about? Didn't you just suck me?" Orochimaru furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

"No... " Then Kakashi noticed that his member was still covered with the warm sensation. He stuck his hand under the cold water and he felt something cold and scaly. He grabbed it and started to pull it out from under the water. _Oh God, please don't let it be a-_

"...Fish." Orochimaru made a disgusted face.

"...You'd rather get sucked from a fish than me? You're disgusting!" He pushed Kakashi away.

"B-But sensei! I didn't know!" He tried to grab his sensei but was then pushed back by a sea of waves. Orochimaru managed to get out of view. When Kakashi looked up his sensei was already gone.

"Dammit!" he slapped the water causing ripples to form. _Stupid fish._

"Hmm, but that felt so good..." He forced the fish back into the water and covered his member with it.

"Alright fish, now it's just you and me."

FIN


End file.
